Do you mind?
by GeorgeTI
Summary: An alchemist going alone to gather ingredients in the woods, in MGE universe. What could go wrong?


A/N: Lemons aheat. Ye be warned

* * *

The rooster signaled the start of my day off. Damn thing, I wanted to sleep in today…

But the morning hustle and bustle outside began picking up, and I knew that returning to sleep is an impossible task now. Grunting, I threw the blanket off me and got off the bed. Still bleary-eyed and groggy, I go through the morning ritual.

Light the fire under the cauldron, make breakfast, throw some herbs at the now boiling water for some nice herbal tea. I can still hear the old coot – I mean master, coming down the wooden stairs, cane in hand, ready to smack me at the slightest mistake. Smiling, I pour some tea on a clay mug. Nothing better to start the day.

I think about my former master as I tear through my breakfast. Lucky bastard. He was insufferable, but his skill in alchemy was undeniable. I have learned so much under his strict tutelage (and the strikes from his cane – that thing hurt like hell). But he got his lucky break: making a special potion for a vampire, she took a liking to him (women are just weird, monster women doubly so) and there he went, now an undead husband and noble. He left his store to me, at least. Having him around for the rest of my mortal life would be a nightmare.

That is the past, though. The store is doing well. Maybe too well. My stores are almost depleted, so I will have to go to the forest… AGAIN. Hell, even the mushrooms are almost gone. That new trend, using multiple potions to assist monster lovemaking, left me with tons of work. The money sure made it better, but having to restock every two months is a chore I'll have to get used to.

Good thing that this country is a monster-friendly one. The customers are never-ending. I suspect that my former master endorsed this shop, because most, if not all, of my customers are monsters or husbands of monsters. Oh well, can't complain. At least I have cash at hand to buy the necessities I need, as I almost never leave the store.

Except for herbs and mushrooms. Those, I have to pick myself. The old coot was adamant about this; I can't entrust someone else for the ingredients for my potions. The herbs and mushrooms must be picked, inspected, cleaned and prepared with the utmost care; one deficient ingredient would severely diminish the potion's effect. And I have a pride and reputation to uphold.

I put on my traveler's cloak and get my harvesting tools. I'll need to visit that cyclops blacksmith sometime; they seem worn out.

* * *

I close the door and lock it, and turn the sign hanging to "closed". The road is busy, many people strolling about. Being in a monster-friendly state, there are many monsters, but no assaults. That line was strict, and every monstergirl obeyed it without question, or grumbling. The fact that the captain of the guard in the village is a VERY bad tempered salamander only further enforces this.

I make my way to the forest, greeting some fellow shopkeepers along the way. The alraune and her husband that own a flower shop, the red oni that bartends at the pub… I shudder as I hurry along. She is awfully clingy, especially when she is drunk. Which is always. How she manages to mix drinks and not mess orders is something I'll never figure out.

A passing holstaur winks at me. I must admit, being single here can be a paradise, but I never felt quite comfortable with all that attention. I was always a shut-in bookworm, and during my apprenticeship I had had almost no free time. Now that I am the owner of the alchemy shop, I have no time at all. Thank god for deliveries. I wouldn't know how to get food otherwise, with all the people clamoring around the entrance the very moment I flip that sign to "open".

It's easy to figure out who is unmarried here. The guys tend to go around with two or more monstergirls with him, and the single monstergirls leer at you, or any single guy. The bachelor's club must be pitifully small, though. Even if they sometimes look weird, the monstergirls are freaking gorgeous.

* * *

The forest is a nice change of pace from the village. It's so quiet… I should make a habit of coming here more frequently. The earthen smell from yesterday's rain still lingers. I should be able to gather some top-notch herbs today. I have been here long enough to know what grows where. It is good that I am the only alchemy shop for quite some distance. That way, I can manage the local resources to avoid overharvesting. That is not good business practice, and I'd rather avoid having to walk for even longer to get them.

Speaking of which, I'd better check out the cave near the pond. Some important ingredients grow there. That place is somewhat spooky, though. Whenever I enter it, I get the feeling that I am watched. Maybe it's just me, or maybe an animal made its nest there. Good thing I carry my short sword with me; the forest can have many nasty surprises.

_Later…_

My back hurts from all this bending over to gather plants and flowers and put them in my bag. At least I got enough to last me a while. Now… it's time for the mushrooms. I've better hurry, the sun is well past midday, and I need to be done by afternoon. Strolling through the forest at night is not the brightest idea.

The cave air is cold and damp, a sharp contrast from the warm, fragrant air of the forest. I had taken off my cloak by noon, it was too damn hot, but now I'll need it. Catching a cold the day after will affect business. The cool air feels nice, though.

Somewhere within the cave I can hear water dripping. That only reminds me of how sweaty I am. I swear, after I am done with all this, I'm heading to the bathhouse. The employees there are ogling at me in a beyond obvious manner, but at least the inari hostess keeps them in check. Nevermind that it was this way she got her husband. Cheeky fox. No, focus. Mushrooms.

The reflections of the pond outside the cave cast some light inside, so I don't have to light a torch. At least I can see as far as I am willing to venture. The pickings here are very poor, though. It seems someone was already here, and has only picked what I normally harvest. And recently too, judging from the state of the cuts on the mushroom stems. Damn. A competitor? Or someone willing to do a little DIY potion? That means trouble, some of those mushrooms can be very toxic if not prepared and used carefully. I'll have to prepare some antidote potions once I get back. But, for now, I need to gather some.

Lighting a torch outside, I make my way beyond where I normally venture, and I begin to feel nervous. The torch isn't great, and the light it produces flickers. That makes the shadows cast from the rocks and the few stalactites move, giving me more than one fright along the way. But the strong smell is unmistakable. Somewhere deeper there must be a grand patch growing.

It is strange that I haven't encountered any animals here, though. I know for a fact that there are bats in this cave. It was on their droppings that some of the mushrooms grew. If they were scared out of the cave, I'll have to find another spot. Or, maybe… they just moved deeper inside? Oh, what's this?

I entered a second, larger cavern without even noticing. A hole in the ceiling cast a wide ray of light… to a small heap of cut mushrooms. Seriously?

"All right, come out, this kind of trap is ridiculous." I call out to the darkness. Silence. I started tracing the walls of the cavern around, but still nothing… except some weird noise and a slimy coating in some places. A slime? It would make sense. If that thing observed me gathering them, it could mimic me. But it could be dangerous, leaving things as-is. If the slime cut all of the mushrooms, it would take considerable time for them to regrow. I'll have to inform the guard of this; they can take in the rogue slime. Then, I'll have my little subterranean garden secure. But hey, it already did all the work for me!

Grabbing the small pile, I stuff it in my bag, and head out. The cold air here must have gotten to me, I am shivering. Heck, even the sweat begins running down my neck-

Wait a minute. This isn't sweat. I freeze in my tracks. If the slime is aggressive, I may be in serious trouble right now. OK, keep calm, no sudden moves… grab that sword hilt, turn around…

Oh. My. God.

The thing standing before me is not a slime. Some kraken look-alike? No, kraken have hair, this… girl, she has tentacles. She is dark purple. And her knockers are enormous- WTF, keep focused, man!

"Ehm… hello." I blurt out. The light from the torch gives this girl an even more terrifying look.

"Greetings to you, thief. Care to tell me why you barged into my home, and stole my things?"

God, her smile is already creepy and scary, and with the flickering light, even more so. And she seems _pissed._ The shivering returns.

"I am sorry if I intruded, I did not know someone was living here." Deep breath. Exhale. Calm down. Look in her eyes, not her tits. Business face.

"And I am really sorry about the mushrooms, but I need them in order to make potions. I am the alchemist at the nearby village. Are you willing to trade for them? I can offer you a good price."

She seems to ponder a bit. I don't know what is more frightening, her anger or her silence. Then she smiles. Fuck all that, her smile is the scariest of all.

"You know, I can't exactly use money here..." her breath tickles my face. "And, since you are a thief and all, are you really in a position to offer deals?"

My mouth goes dry. Oh hell, what have I gotten myself into? "I j-just wanted some mushrooms." I stammer. Great. Genius negotiation tactics there.

She moves slightly, and I backstep slightly. An arm's length is a comfortable distance, enough for me to react to anything within reasonable limits. However, now find it difficult to maintain such distance.

"Oh, that is something every thief says. I want this, I want that." she continues, her tentacle hair are swinging. Damn, she is furious.

"All right, I am at fault barging in, but I didn't even know if anyone lived here. As for the mushrooms, I'll give them back. What else do you-"

Thud.

My back touches the cave wall. How the hell did I get here?! Oh god, she is coming closer. Time to run like hell.

I draw my short sword, in a horizontal slashing motion. Or, at least I try. One tentacle grabbed my hand. It comes from… oh my god, her feet are tentacles too. The shock makes me drop both sword and torch. I am royally fucked. Literally.

"And you dare attack me, while trying to make those pathetic excuses?" Her voice is vibrating with anger. I close my eyes, clench my teeth, and brace for the pain.

And wait.

And wait.

I crack one eye open. I would have jumped back in surprise, if the cave wall didn't prevent it. Her face is close. Too damn close. I can see her violet eyes clearly. Damn, she is pretty. And angry.

"Let's see now..." two tentacles grab my arms and raise them over my head, pinning me to the wall. Her breasts press against me, along with her body. But I can't take notice right now, as her hair tentacles begin moving towards my face. In wide-eyed horror, I feel their cold, slimy touch as they crawl all over my face. The feeling of discomfort is made even worse by the watery sounds those things make. What is she doing?

The tentacles are moving further, beyond my face. They start crawling over my neck, and around my ears. Suddenly I feel two if them enter my ears, the watery sounds becoming deafening. My head starts swimming, and I struggle to keep it together. It lasts for a good while, but eventually everything disappears in a swirl of color. Then, darkness.

* * *

"Wake up!"

I feel a couple of wet, slimy slaps, that pull me from the void of unconsciousness. The world is still swimming, and it is dark. The air… smells like the cave. The cave-

My eyes snap open, as it all comes back. The cave, the mushrooms, the weird monster girl…

...who is currently standing above me, looking me with a scowl. I stand up with a groan; it's not an easy thing to do, especially when my head is still spinning. At least some light comes through the hole in the ceiling. It must be the moon. Damn, I am late.

"What… how… " I begin to stammer. The girl tosses me my bag.

"Here. I looked into your memories. You spoke the truth. Now go. I took some gold as payment for the mushrooms."

"All r-right, see you later then." I stumble around in the dark. "Ehm, care to guide me to the exit? My torch…"

She leaves an exasperated sigh. "Fine." She passes by me, casually grabbing my hand. While slightly cold and slimy, her hand feels… soft and squishy. I feel my face heat up. Good thing we plunged into the darkness.

After a while, I see the faint light of the moon. Finally, the cave entrance.

My guide lets go of my hand. "Here we are. Now, go." As she turns to leave, she notices my face. I must look like a ripe tomato, the very look of my face gives her pause.

"Thanks for guiding me out." Time for the usual pleasantries and amends.

"It's nothing."

"And sorry for barging in, uninvited. I'll be careful next time."

"I told you, it's nothing." She seems irritated. OK, business face.

"May I ask you something? How did you know what mushrooms to pick?"

She seems caught off guard. That's a nice change. Why does she look away?

"I… I just know, OK?"

Hmmm… curious.

"I am willing to negotiate a deal with you. A contract, if you will."

"Go ahead." she still seems flustered.

"Since you live here, and you seem to have knowledge of the local flora, are you willing to provide me with certain ingredients? I can offer you a good price."

She remains silent for a while. "I'll need time to think about it."

"All the time you need. Well, not too much, I hope."

She smiles. "All right, smarty-pants, I'll visit you tomorrow, after dark. Keep your door unlocked."

"You know-"

"Yes, I know where you live. I looked into your memories, remember?"

Let's hope she didn't dig into what I thought of her.

"All right, I'll wait for you."

Wait, that sounded weird…

Before I had a chance to speak again, she had disappeared into the cave's darkness.

* * *

The following day is hectic as usual, and the fact that I slept only for three hours makes it all the worse. The weird thing is, I kept dreaming of the monster girl I met in that cave. It caused me to almost mess a potion.

After I finally flipped the sign to "closed", I collapsed on a chair. My lunch, not yet touched, became my cold dinner, as I wolfed it down. Still good, especially after all that hard work.

A wave of cold night air is all the warning I get before I hear a familiar voice. "Pardon my intrusion."

I turn around, and sure enough, there she is. She has her business face on, at least, and looks far less intimidating than last time.

"Welcome. Come, take a seat." I say, as I hurriedly stand up and pull up a chair and another mug. "I didn't introduce myself last time. I am Anon. Care for some herbal tea? My own recipe."

"Maria. Don't mind if I do." She sits and takes the steaming mug in her hands.

She takes a sip, before turning to me. "Let's get down to business. I am not exactly comfortable being in the village."

All the more curious. Did she break the law at any point?

"And no, I am not an outlaw" she replies at my questioning look. "I just… prefer to live alone."

I sigh. "It's not my place to say anything. But, someone sneaking into my shop at night every now and then might rise questions."

"Take it or leave it." Not good, she seems pissed again.

"Fine, have it your way. Anyway, here is a list of various ingredients I require. Please, take a look and tell me if there is anything in there that you don't recognize or aren't confident to harvest successfully." I hand her a piece of paper.

She looks at it for a minute. "I can provide those. Some will not be cheap, as-"

"As they are in decline. Yes, I've noticed." More questions arise inside my head with every one she answers. "I am impressed. Some of those herbs aren't widely known, and some are quite rare. Have you studied alchemy? I could use a partner here, the workload is getting heavier by the day."

She smiles. But her smile, under the light of the fireplace, is… alluring? Nice? I can't find the word. "Yes, I did study with a quite talented yet slightly naive tutor. But not to the point where I can make potions."

"Hmmm? I'd like to meet your tutor one day. Alchemists tend to be an aloof bunch." I answer. Well, if she is versed in alchemy, better be partners than competitors. Although I am in for some friendly competition, and this town certainly has room for two, the ingredients around town are not. "I'll need to contact the forester about the declining herbs. She will know what to do."

"What, that Elf? Don't make me laugh" she snorts. "She can't find her way out of a bush, let alone a forest. I know of a dryad that actually knows what happens in her forest." She hands me the piece of paper back.

I glance at it. The prices she offers are fair. A tad high, but it surely beats dragging my ass all the way to the forest. "Hmm… you sure have interesting friends."

She smiles again. Damn, she can be pretty. Breathe, man. Focus. You are at business negotiations. But still… I bite my tongue, hard. I must focus. She looks at me with a knowing look… what the hell? Time to wrap this up.

"The prices you offer are acceptable. Deal." I extent my hand, which she takes. Now, time to hit the sack and-

"Quite the nice place you have here..." she comments.

"I try."

"But it is untidy. Isn't that bad for business?"

"I try to keep that apart. The shop area is over there." I wave at the side room.

"It must be exhausting, trying to keep up. Your memories were… hectic, to say the least." She smiles that coy smile again.

I sigh. "Yes, it is. It is easy to figure out, if I am willing to partner up with someone I met just a day ago." Damn, why did she have to mention the workload? It reminded my body how tired it was. Anyway, our business is concluded by this point. My body is tired and sore, and my head is heavy. Time to hit the sack.

"Well, it was nice meeting you. Now, if you-"

"I can help you relax, you know. I know many massaging techniques..."

What the hell is she up to?

"I am grateful, but I know that a night's sleep-"

"Oh, don't be shy now, you." She stands up and goes around the table. "We are partners now, aren't we?"

"What are you doing?" The recent memories of her set my body on edge. She leans and whispers at my ear, making me shudder.

"Just… relax. Let's get rid of that shirt now, it is in the way."

Her hands are incredibly fast and dexterous. The buttons of my shirt are undone between three breaths.

"Hey, now, that is uncomfortable-"

"Just stand still, you'll get pretty comfortable soon." Her voice has become… sultry?

Her soft hands remove my shirt and press softly on my shoulder muscles. Damn, this feels good…

"That's it, just relax..." her voice continues to caress my ear. She wasn't lying when she said that she knew massaging.

But sitting on a chair severely limits her access. She also seems aware of this, as she tries to press on my lower back. "Do you have something you can lie on?"

"Well… only my bed comes to mind." I answer, sleepily. The table is still littered with dishes from my late lunch, and I feel too tired to clean that up.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeaaaaawnnnn" I try to stifle my yawn, but fail miserably. This was a long day.

"Let's get there, then."

"Fine. But just massage, all right? And I will likely fall asleep the moment I lie down."

Dragging my feet to the bed is a challenge, and I barely make it. The thought that she might rob me blind and go occurs to me, but I brush it away. Most of my money are in the bank, and she would have better profit providing me with ingredients than steal those I had at my shop. The moment I lie down, I feel her sitting by my side, her hands roaming all over my back.

"That's better. Just lie down..."

Her hands press on various spots on my back, and my body relaxes completely. A feeling of comfort and euphoria creeps from her fingers through all my body. That feels goooooood…

"Are you interested in my mentor?" she asks suddenly.

"Uh huh" Too comfortable and sleepy for words now. She seems a bit hesitant, but she continues.

"I learned from him mostly by observing him. He was very young at the time we met." with a sweeping motion, her hands press all my back softly. "He never even talked to me."

"Sounds a bit..." Now what's the polite word? "...shy?"

"Oh, he is shy. But he is also brilliant. He studied under one of the best."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, he did. All right, your back is done, turn around."

She helps me to flip around, and now I look at the ceiling. My back is a bit damp from her slightly slimy touch, but I don't care. I feel amazing.

"So, what became of him?" I continue the small talk, politely. She presses on my chest.

"He became swamped in his work, and I saw him less and less."

"Sounds a bit inconsiderate. Abandoning his apprentice before properly finishing their training is not good practice. I know my former master wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that." I try to comment without throwing too much bitterness. This is unknown territory, after all.

Her tone is enigmatic as she presses, a bit more forcefully, at my arms. "Yes, it was pretty inconsiderate, but I don't blame him. He always kept to himself." Her hands travel upwards, and are now delicately massaging my neck. God, this is good.

"Is that so? Still, I don't believe it to be an excuse. Once you take an apprentice, you are responsible for their growth. Even my own master believed so, that old coot." I mumble.

She leans on me, as her hands begin massaging my face. It's a bit ticklish but very relaxing.

"Well, I can show you, and you can tell me what do you think."

"You can show me?" I ask, as her face replaces the ceiling in my field of vision. She is close. Too close.

"Of course. Do you mind?"

"No, not at all, go ahead." I answer, slightly curious.

The tentacle hair begin moving, and before I realize her intentions, they are all over my face, two of them worm their way inside my ears. That feeling of my head swimming again. I try to fight it, but I am way too tired and comfortable. Her eyes are the last thing I see as I drift off to dreamland.

* * *

"Come on now, you useless apprentice!"

That voice… I would recognize it everywhere. Rough, old and arrogant. It's that old man!

I try to turn around and find him, but my body won't respond. Instead, I see leaves… I must be behind a bush, hiding. Great, is this a nightmare,when he catches me and smacks me with his cane?

"OWWW"

"Faster! We must gather the herbs and return before noon!"

I would jump if I could. That is my voice, and that sound… oh, how I dreaded that sound. It was the cane from hell.

But… if I could hear the old man and me, that only means that… I look through her eyes. Sure enough, I see a purple hand parting the branches of the bush slightly, and in amazement I watch the old man and myself… when I was way younger. Wait, isn't that day…?

"Not that herb, you idiot!" SMACK. Oh god, I still feel the pain after all those years. "This herb is poisonous! Didn't I tell you so back in the shop?"

A swirl of color rushes before my eyes, and when it settles down, I see again the leaves of the bush. The purple hand parts them, again, only now I see myself, alone. It must have been the day when the old man sent me to gather herbs for the vampire's potion. If I remember correctly…

"Hmm…. Yes, this one is no good. It has grown way too much. That other one is damaged..."

Dear me, I still remember that day. I had to gather very rare herbs, with strict requirements. I spent two days in the forest, and I never heard the end of it from the old man.

The swirl of color sweeps my eyes again, but now, when it settles, I see the face of Maria, close enough to feel her breath coming out her nostrils.

"So? What do you think of my mentor?" she asks. My blood freezes.

"I-it was… me?"

Her smile widens. "Yes, it was you. Remember what you said about masters and apprentices?" Her eyes flare with a look that only the single monstergirls gave me. I gulped.

"Y-yes..."

"That you will take responsibility as a master?"

Now what the flying fuck-

My train of thought is interrupted by the feeling of her lips pressing against mine, her breasts pressing against my chest. Her hands find mine and entwine our fingers, and pins them to the side, as her tentacle hair holds my head close to hers. I feel her body pressing against mine… wait a minute, where did my clothes go?!

She kisses my lips softly, but the sensation is a first for me, causing a stirring inside. I can feel my body reacting to her affection. After a while, she breaks the kiss.

"So, _master, _I will be in your care." She smiles after looking at my face. I must look like a ripe tomato, my face is really hot.

"W-well, I-" she interrupts me again, shoving her tongue in my mouth, taking advantage of the situation. Her tongue wrestles with mine, gaining dominance easily, as the sweet feeling of pleasure makes my face go numb. My body is heating up too, despite her cool body pressing against it. My thoughts are getting blurred by the second. So, is this what sex with a monstergirl feels like?

Her tentacles are crawling all over me, pressing certain spots on my body, and I feel all the tension and urge to resist just disappear. Her tentacle hair work on my head, too. Two of them caress my ears, before slipping in. I half-expect another dream, but instead, I feel a rush of heat and euphoria. My eyes snap open, staring directly into Maria's violet ones. She is blushing… god, she looks so gorgeous…

My hands move as if on their own, the only thing in my mind the girl on top of me. I grab her breasts and massage them. She moans oh-so-lightly, but the tightening of her tentacles tells me she likes it. With her kiss unbroken, she raises her waist a little, and I feel something slimy grab my manhood… then I feel it being buried in something wet and hot and tight. The pleasure is so intense, I think I'll pass out at any second now, but somehow I manage to stay conscious.

My senses are dimming to the point where all I can get from them is the look of her eyes, the watery sound of her tentacles in my ears, and her intense heat and tightness. Then, even that dims out, and only the pleasure remains.

* * *

I can't remember much after that. The next thing I know, I am lying on my bed. The sun's rays peek through the curtains, reddish in color. It must be afternoon. Did I sleep in that much?

I get up from bed with a groan. I am surprised that I hear no knocking on the door; usually I get at least one or two impatient customers looking to place urgent orders for potions, despite having flipped the sign to "closed", even at my lunch break. I must have slept like a log all day…

After I put on my clothes, I drag myself to the door. Tired or not, the store is to keep serving customers. My master would be most disappointed if I skipped a day lazing around. Where is my partner in crime in all of this, anyway?

As I open the door, I notice that the sign is missing, and a piece of paper is stuck to the door instead.

"Closed due to wedding!" with a cute little heart at the exclamation point.

I reach to grab it, but my hand freezes as I feel the overly familiar touch of tentacles on my neck, and soft arms embracing me from behind.

"Why are you taking it down?" Maria asks in a exaggerated complaining tone.

"I have to open the shop… good evening, love." I answer, caressing her arm. A deep part in my brain is screaming in panic, but I feel… calm. Overly familiar. Like it is the most natural thing in the world.

"Buuuuuuuut… it's already afternoon..." Geez, I can almost see the pout on her face. I turn around, and she is, sure enough, in full puppy eyes mode. A shame her hair won't frame that attempt in a convincing manner. I smile.

"Well… I suppose I can make an exception for today. After all, this is a once in a lifetime event." I say as I close the door.

* * *

A/N: So, it's done, a mindflayer one-shot. Read and review.


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